Pay it forward

I know this girl, well woman actually. She's not a close friend of mine but a friend none the less. She was dealt a raw hand. A couple months ago she had to go through what no mother should go through, the loss of a child. Her journey through mother hood was not an easy one but she had no regrets. She loved immensely and has grieved just the same. She sent an email out recently, just like how she did in the past to update us on her son's health. In this email she talked about how she read about a number of parents who have lost their children and the ways they coped with healing and keeping their child's memory alive. The idea of "Random Acts of Kindness" resonated with her. It resonated with me. If there has been one thing I learned this year is that what you give out to the world, you will recieve in return. Paying it forward.

I was in a shitty mood at work. Working Emerge, faulty blood gas machine, no coverage. I recieved a patient through resus, came from out of town. This patient of mine was someone's husband and someone's father. I was in an "in and out" sort of mood, go in, do the work and then get out as fast as I could, the look on her face stopped me. The look of worry, the look of being tired, the look of this being the worst day of her life. I asked her if she wanted a cup of water. I'm going to go out on a limb but I think this was the kindest thing she was asked all day, I say this because the look on her face told me so.


These acts will not bring back her son but it will honor him memory.

I don't need anything for Christmas, I don't really. I've been fortunate enough to have been able to get everything I need for myself. What you can do for me though is, please just pay it forward.

Always with love,
N.