Remaining delightfully optimistic is a tiring thing. It's really hard actually. Lately it has felt like being in the ocean, chasing a beautiful sunset and being repeatedly hit by hard waves. Knee buckling, spine crushing waves.
The thing about this sunset is that I can't see it, I can't even feel it but I know it's there. I had a glimmer of one not too long ago, however it wasn't quiet right. I didn't warm the way it was suppose to and to be honest it left me feeling cold. numb. and a little lost. I feel like these waves are testing me. Teaching me. I only fear that my knees will succumb to it's ever surmounting pressure.
So I carry on. Press against the weight of these waves. I realize they won't break me. All I got to do, all I need to find is a surf board to ride the waves. I finally realized that I don't need to find that surf board.
I am the surf board,
N.
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